Dear Sage at 9,
The past few years have flown by more than ever before. As I think about you growing older, I feel nostalgic for the days when you were our only child. For four years we explored the world with you, gave you every ounce of our available time, listened to your stories, adventured in the outdoors, played with you, celebrated you… And while I am certain you didn’t come here to be an only child, I do wish I had more time to dedicate to you.
Luckily, since you are the eldest, you get to stay up later than Cedar and Shiloh, which means a few nights a week we can snuggle on the couch and I can read to you from whatever book we are working our way through. Currently we are reading Wednesdays in the Tower and we love reading about Celie and her adventures with the griffin! I have an entire shelf dedicated to all the books I want to read with you! It’s one of my favorite things to do. On your own, you are enjoying reading the Little House on the Prairie series, the American Girl Doll historical fiction series, the Sarah Plain and Tall series, and currently you love the WHO WAS series.
It’s bittersweet to witness you approach adolescence. I am seeing shifts in your personality which makes me wonder if I will ever see certain parts of you again. You spend more time on your own, reading (you are a voracious reader) and creating (you love Calico Critters and create elaborate and detailed worlds for them on your bedroom floor). Your bedroom is where your creative genius gets to work. I like to think of your room as your creative workshop and asking you to clean it would be disrupting a vision in progress! I was surprised though when you came to me the other day and asked (begged) for help cleaning it. Haha. We went to work and tried to get things more organized. That lasted about a day and a half and now it’s back to its usual state.
After reading Michelle Obama’s autobiography, I feel better about your room. She described Barack’s home office in a similar way as I would describe your bedroom. I can’t remember her exact words but your bedroom is an idea factory and the work of a creator and artist ! I love this about you and Daddy and I have decided to let this space be your own. The cool thing about your bedroom is it’s not messy… your clothes are put away, your bed is made… tidiness exists… It’s the calico critter world that grows and morphs and almost has a pulse of its own. You cut up little pieces of fabric and make clothes for the critters. Then you get an idea to create doll making kits for your friends. Then you get fluff from the sewing bin and give them all Marie Antoinette style hairdos. Your mind is incredible.
I also notice that when we are trying to get through our school day you often break your concentration with big plans or ideas for something a few hours or days down the road. I can tell when your wheels are spinning and gently remind you to write your idea down and get back to work.
Outside of our time schooling together, you are spending more time on your own but simultaneously have become very attached to me. Up to this point you have only had eyes for your Dad and mostly just tolerated me. But now you actually tell me how much you love me and want to spend time with me! Haha. What a change. . It’s new for me to have you hanging on me and resting your head on my shoulder while I am reading or working at the computer. You give me these powerful squeeze hugs and try to lift me off the ground!
Something new has developed for you and that is racing thoughts. We went through a phase where you took a long time to fall asleep. You say there is too much on your mind and you just can’t settle. I am working on ways to support you in this. I notice you have sizeable mood swings and I can’t figure out if you are in control of these (as in it’s therapeutic to overreact to Cedar disrupting a plan you had, kind of like a form of imaginative role playing) or if it’s out of your control and you actually are swinging so quickly from one state of being to the next. I have a lot to learn about this transition you are going through and I will do my best to support you in whatever way I can. This all may be a normal part of development but either way, I want you to feel safe to be yourself and supported if you need guidance.
All that being said, when we were traveling in Wales, you had almost zero mood swings. You were the best version of yourself. There was zero screen time (you rarely watch television but you do spend a ton of time on screens reading and sometimes I wonder how this impacts you), you spent loads of time in nature, got lots of exercise and a so much of our attention.
Despite the expected challenges of life in a new place, you have adjusted beautifully to our move to England. You say you love it here and you never want to leave. In fact you have decided that you are going to become a farmer and will marry Clementine, your friend who lives down the street. You are an amazingly adaptable person. You become fully present in whatever place we land. I thought this was normal but in comparison to Cedar, I am realizing this is unique to you. Cedar talks about missing Bend and our camping trips and the mountain biking park. You have an “out of sight out of mind” type of personality and Bend ceases to exist when you arrive here.
You have taken up horse riding which you love. I wasn’t expecting you to love it as much as you do. The day I wrote this, you ran in the house and jumped next to me on the couch and excitedly proclaimed, “I NEED A RIDING VEST BECAUSE I AM GOING TO CANTER NEXT WEEK!” You thrive in the horse environment and riding has been great for you. Not to mention the community of children who attend the camps and lessons are lovely and you have a great time with them.
A few weeks ago when I picked you up from half term camp, you had 5 girls roaring laughing at one of your stories. You were happily the center of attention and comedian and were providing a great dose of entertainment! I think you were telling them a story about when we tried to dye your hair pink and it stained everything. Either way, it made me so happy to see you thrilled to be making everyone laugh.
You are an enthusiast and get very excited about new projects and ideas. Planning is one of your favorite activities. It can be setting up a school in our sunroom or creating a petition to get more costumes for a marco polo group. You have started using the sunroom as another place where you can create new worlds and imaginary games. In the last two weeks it has been a hospital, a farm-house, and now a hotel. The hotel has room dividers and labels on each room. You even offer suites! You love creating marco polo groups, organizing and making plans. As I was writing this you were very excited to plan your birthday : )
You like to bake with Daddy, and you have started trying to bake on your own! Just the other day you wanted to make cookies to surprise Daddy when he got home from work. He got home and you all sat on the counter eating ice cream cookie sandwiches : ) Today you baked a loaf of bread.
I have noticed that for a few years now, you crave the structure of doing the same thing on the same day of the week. For example, “can we always bake bread on Tuesday nights so we have it fresh on Wednesday mornings? Can we do this every week?” Can we always cozy up on Thursday afternoons and read a book?” Peter and I notice you making these requests and we want to do a better job honoring your desires for routine. We are not the best at routines!
You are an incredibly helpful member of our household. You jump right up and help unload the dishwasher every morning, you put the chickens away at night without complaint, you get Shiloh out of bed and sometimes even get him dressed for the day. I appreciate, with all my heart, that I can say, “Hey Sage, can you please…” and you almost always say yes. Thank you my love. It makes my life so much easier.
You are an organizer, a leader, a community builder, and idea-maker, inventor, and creator. You are very talkative with me but not necessarily with strangers. You love or hate things, there is not much middle ground. You burst into the room with new ideas multiple times a day. While many of your ideas simply are not possible, I hate to tell you this and try very hard to encourage your ideas no matter how far-fetched they may be.
Granny is here from California to visit us in England and she will be here for 6 weeks! When you realized Granny was on her way, you just ran laps around the downstairs of the house because you are SO excited. Right now you are asking Granny to put your hair up in pins every night before you go to sleep so you can wake up with it curly! You love the fancy side of life : )
For your birthday this year it was a full weekend party. Friday we had a proper tea party at home with our family and Granny. Saturday Clementine and Henrietta came over and you all participated in an incredible scavenger hunt designed by Daddy. It was super fun. In addition you watched a movie and had popcorn, did arts and crafts, played non-stop and ate lots of yummy food. You designed and planned the entire day from start to finish! Clem spent the night, and went home in the morning after S’more pancakes. Later that day Ari and Miri and their parents came over for cake and playing. We had a great weekend.
I love you Sage. Thank you for being my teacher and constant (mostly) loving and always inspiring companion.
Here is your 9th year in pictures. Enjoy!
babysedivec.com 
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