It’s funny how little has changed in a year. I still love the busy and full home. I still feel the sting that you may be our last.  I still find three children easier than two and I still feel like the more children we have the more I want. Sometimes I wonder when enough children would truly feel like enough! haha. Being a mother and caring for you and your older siblings is the light of my life and I wish this phase could go on forever.  

I worry these days full of constant chatter, singing, laughing, bickering, messes, sticky fingers, tears, hugs, stories, big ideas… will be the happiest moments of my life. I’m in the midst of it and I already miss it. You magical children and your dedicated father are my everything and I’m grateful I have the time and ability to make our relationships my biggest priority. 

Shiloh, it has been a wild year! Just before you turned one the Coronavirus pandemic hit AND we accepted an opportunity to move to England. From March to the end of July was anxiety provoking, distracting, and worrisome as we juggled concern for the health of our family and loved ones while also wondering if we were going to get our visas and move to England. I felt like every day was a struggle to stay in the moment and be truly present. My mind buzzed off to a very unpredictable future that was staring me in the face. The future is always unpredictable but in this case the reality of it felt exacerbated by the events in our lives. Despite the crazy circumstances of the past year, I still found the time and space to really enjoy you as a one year old. You are so much fun and if anyone helped bring me back to reality in this past year, it was you and your siblings.

Here’s a little about you… 

• We call you “The Shoosh,” as if you are your own species. We also call you “shooshies, shoosh, shooshy booshy, and Shy Shy, or just Shy”
• You went from a quiet observer in your first 9 months to your current state as the hilarious, grounded, talkative, physical, amiable, center of our household. 
• You are the biggest both in height and weight of all the kids at this same age. 
• You move through space with confidence and purpose still never missing a beat or allowing the big kids to leave you behind. 
• You pay extremely close attention to the goings on in the house commenting on statements or answering questions that weren’t even directed at you. 
• You know where everything goes, you like to be helpful 
  • you put away dishes from the dishwasher when they are clean AND when they are dirty
  • you clear your place at the table
  • you love to vacuum and water plants
• If we lost something and want to know where it is, we can ask you and chances are you will waddle/run to another room and find it. 
• You love to throw yourself on the couch, you love rough play, and occasionally get so rough that you can make Cedar cry. Your physical strength has made Sage cry too! 
• Your response to just about everything is “Why?” And we make sure to take the time to explain it to you. “Shiloh please don’t step on the daffodils.” “Why?” “Because it will hurt them” “Why?” and on and on until you feel like we have explained it enough and then you say, “oooooohhhhh”
• You call Cedar “Der” and it’s the cutest thing ever. “Der’s jammas” “Der’s car” “Der’s helmet”
• You are still very independent and can tinker and play on your own for long stretches of time. 

• You love the toy trains, you love the legos, the magnatiles, Sage’s Calico Critters… you enjoy little things you can manipulate. Right now “Der’s biker” is a very popular toy and you two bicker about whose turn it is to play with it. 

• You like tractors and say “Hi Tractor” out the window. A lot of them drive by our house!
• I am constantly surprised at how reasonable you are. If you have something Cedar wants and he grabs it out of your hand you scream! But if he remembers to use his words and ask you for it, most often you say “Okay Der” and you hand it to him. It’s amazing!
• You love to swing
• You don’t love cold weather. Despite your extra layer of chump (as Sage calls it) you get really cold outside and cry when your hands hurt. 
• You do have the “chumpiest thighs” and we love them. 
• You don’t like to be coddled. If I get too snuggly with you or kiss you too much you say “No, mama’ and push me off. Haha. You don’t like too much help with anything as you feel most happy when accomplishing things on your own. 
• You are a great eater. You love pretty much every type of food and are just as happy with macaroni and cheese as you are taking big and repeated bites of kale salad with mushrooms and onions!
• You call Smoothies “we gah” 
• Instead of saying the word “yes or yeah” you say “mmhmm”
• You are a great little walker and can go farther than we think. You love to stomp in puddles and get muddy. 
• You say “NO, I don’t yike dat”
• You talk a lot. And if anyone interrupts you, you have taken to yelling “I”M TALKING” and expect us to all be quiet.
• You don’t like being left behind. If someone runs out to the trash cans or to drop something off at Jo and Luke’s we come back to find you still trying to get your boots on. Then you get so mad when you realize the errand is finished and you weren’t included. You really want nothing more than to just be included!
• We are still nursing… In the morning when you wake up, before your nap, and before bed. I love this time with you and it breaks my heart knowing that these days will come to an end. 

While I can’t bear to see you grow up, I also can’t wait to see the person you are becoming. You are so physically strong, not as wirey (at this point) as the others (you are almost the same size as Cedar!). You are not too sensitive nor too tough. You are the fulcrum on which your siblings pivot. It’s as if you spent the first 9 months taking it all in and figuring out your specific slot in our family machine. Right down the center!

I am not exaggerating when I say I look at you every single day and feel fierce gratitude for your presence in our family. I am so glad we had a third (you!) and I am so glad you chose us. I think the best thing about you being our 3rd is I can relax and enjoy you. At this point, nothing rattles me too much so your tantrums or messes are mostly funny. It’s a lovely way to experience parenting. Thank you for giving me the chance to learn how to really sit back and enjoy this. You remind me not to take things too seriously and it’s helping me parent the other two as well.  

These are my favorite pictures of your 2nd year of life.

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