Dear Baby #2! |

Dear Baby #2!

by elizabeth on June 26, 2016

Dear Baby,

We are eagerly awaiting your arrival. It’s June 26th and you are slated to arrive somewhere around the 4^th of July, give or take a few days (or weeks!). I think it’s fair to say that the person most excited to meet you is your big sister Sage. Every day now she is asking if you are coming, “tonight?” She has decided she is “catching you” when you are born and will be the first to have her hands on you, even before the midwife. Our plan is to birth at home, and based on how fast your sister came we are hoping for a speedy and drama free delivery!

A little about the pregnancy…

I was sick starting around week 6 until about week 20 (and then on and off again for a few more weeks). Throwing up, unable to spend much time off the couch… it was extremely difficult for me. This experience was worse than my pregnancy with Sage, which has me wondering if you are a boy or a girl. Everyone seems to share that their boy pregnancies were easier so what does that mean for you?! Are you a super girl? Or maybe my hormones don’t mix well with testosterone? Ahhh- I can’t wait to find out! Most people seem to be thinking you are a boy. I get stopped places and people tell me I am having a boy and then can’t believe that we don’t already know.
I have had a powerful need to be in nature during this pregnancy. During the second trimester and beginning of the third, while it was still comfortable to hike, I needed to get out on the trails a couple times a week. I have this reoccurring daydream of bringing you into the world in some cabin in the middle of the woods. It feels like where you belong. Even now, when walking isn’t so comfortable, I want nothing more than to sit in a big cozy chair on a deck, with a cup of tea, staring into the wilderness.
If you are a boy- we do not have a name in mind for you. I want a nature name but we just can’t find any (yet) that seem to fit. So, if you are a boy- you will probably have to wait a few days before you have a name. If you are a girl, we have two names in mind that we really really like. So if you are girl, you will have your name a little sooner : )
I have had no serious cravings during this pregnancy but I have been unable to eat chicken. It’s so gross I can barely even write about it. For a while, vegetables were gross too but now it’s just chicken. Early on, the only healthy thing I could really stomach were eggs. Scrambled or fried they pretty much always tasted good. Eggs still taste good. I also wanted cinnamon rolls! Now I love Del Taco and want to drink a lot of coke. Gross I know. I try to resist. And pretty much want to eat lots of everything. I am always hungry!
You make me feel beautiful. I have gained just about as much weight as I did with Sage, but this time, I don’t feel gross. I feel beautiful and happy about my body. I tease myself a lot for how much I can eat. I love to eat but my curves and changes really aren’t bothering me that much. Do me a favor- help me feel this way after you are born too ok? That’s the hard part!
You seem to have conspired with my uterus to start practicing for labor. This began months ago and for a while you were making me nervous that you were coming too early. Turns out all the contractions, up to this point, were just practice. Although you still have me questioning daily whether or not you are going to arrive. It makes me not want to travel too far from home on my own!
In early June at my check up- we found out that the contractions and nausea (yeah that’s back) actually dilated me one whole centimeter. I am pretty excited. At least all the discomfort amounts to something! Maybe we can do this gradually and in 4 weeks I’ll be over half way there.
I was feeling physically uncomfortable for a lot of this pregnancy, especially as I started gaining the majority of the weight. In this last month I finally bit the bullet and found a prenatal chiropractor. It has made all the difference. I am able to comfortably enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy which has been wonderful. Life has gotten much better!
For a while I was nervous about the home birth. Not because I felt unsafe, we have an incredible team on standby, but because I didn’t want to experience the intensity of natural childbirth (again). I was stuck dreading the whole thing and honestly wished to pass the baton to someone else. But the other night, I woke up with two very powerful contractions, back to back, that I couldn’t speak or move through. As I was on my hands and knees in bed, waiting for them to pass, I was reflecting on my state of mind. I wasn’t afraid at all. The powerful feeling was familiar and oddly enough, somewhat comforting. I was reminded of the force my body can create all on its’ own. That my body knows exactly what to do, that I handled this before and I can do it again. It’s a beautifully intense and productive pain and I am ready. I don’t want any interventions that aren’t going to save someone’s life. I believe in my body and in my mental and physical ability to surrender and let you come the way nature intended. That being said, I won’t be doing it alone. We have a fantastic doula to help me with pain management strategies and your Dad who has been through this once before. And of course the midwife who has more faith than probably anyone in what a woman’s body is capable of accomplishing, without unnecessary interventions.

A little about you so far…

You are a great sleeper. I notice and appreciate that you don’t wake me up with wiggles and kicks in the middle of the night. You tried this a few times late in the second trimester and we had a talk about it. “Mommy needs to sleep. Chill out!” Fortunately, now when I wake up to roll over or use the bathroom you give me a little nudge, reminding me that you are there, but then nuzzle right on back into sleep. Thank you. I am thrilled to say I am one day shy of 39 weeks pregnant and am sleeping wonderfully!
Your favorite time to move is when I am reading stories to Sage!
When you are awake, you are really awake. You love to stretch out and push against my belly! I am sure this feels great to you, but to me, it’s quite uncomfortable! Your favorite spot to stretch out is below my right rib. I consistently feel your little foot or heel right in the same spot.
You are already a no-issue baby. We have had zero health concerns with you. My pregnancy health and lab results have all been stellar and you are growing and developing perfectly. The midwife did an ultrasound the other day and measured your head- even that’s not too big! It’s perfect. And for our family, that’s impressive. This is very different from when your sister was in my belly! With her it was issue after issue and it caused me a great deal of worry and stress. Her head was huge and her delivery was very difficult.
People keep asking me if I have a feeling about whether or not you are a boy or a girl. Some days I think boy, some days I think girl. In yoga a few weeks ago we were in savasana and I had very powerful boy feelings but then a few days later I had a vivid dream that you were a girl. I was trying to get a peek during the last ultrasound (don’t tell Daddy) but you weren’t revealing anything! Serves me right. At first, I wasn’t a huge fan of not knowing. But after sitting with it now for 8 months, and hearing so many people’s reactions, “I could never… how do you handle not knowing… I HAD to find out…” it makes me laugh. For the majority of life on earth we had no clue if we were having boys or girls…people are so silly when they say those things. That being said, I am dying to know what you are! But it feels more natural to me, not knowing. Trusting and waiting. Trusting and waiting. It’s good personal work. We don’t always need to know everything. So I thank you for keeping your legs shut during the ultrasound. Maybe you know this is my work and you are helping me see it through to the end!

Being that this is our second time around, we know our lives will change dramatically with your arrival. We have no way to anticipate what kind of child you will be, whether you will enjoy our adventurous lifestyle or will need a more mellow schedule. It’s going to be an adjustment as we travel back to having a little person who needs to nurse every 2-3 hours, remembering to bring diapers with us, dedicating lots of time rocking and bouncing, and… the lack of sleep… oh the lack of sleep. But we are ready. Our bed has room for one more and so do our hearts.

The beautiful thing about having done this before is I know how fast it goes. Some days I wish I could travel back to that sacred and beautiful time in the first few months when I was so tired and so in love. Remembering the speed of life, will help me get through the sleepless nights and breast milk soaked days with reverence instead of complaint. It passes and I will miss it.

Whoever you are, whatever you need, we are here to do our absolute best to nurture and provide all that we can. As I sit on this epic tipping point waiting for one chapter to end and the next to begin, time is standing still. You are forcing me to be in the moment, and I love that about you. The minute you arrive, and I hold you on my chest, I know we are going to feel that you have been a part of this family forever. Can’t wait to meet you sweet baby.

Love, mama

Some pictures of Mama pregnant with you